Well, I suppose now that I’ve broken the news to my mother, I can tell the internets (or at least mention on my sad, neglected blog) that I’ve started officially LIVING IN SIN. With my boyfriend. And yes, we’ve brought the Quixy along.

Sometimes there are drawbacks to having friends who are ambitious, smart, and talented. Sometimes I’m afraid that for all the hard work and effort in the world, I may never end up being as accomplished. Sometimes I’m also afraid that I don’t have what it takes, because I burn out in between and my health continues to be up and down, and life doesn’t always work out the way you plan or want.

As someone who wasn’t born in the United States, a lot of the decisions I’ve had to make have been weighted heavily by the legal implications and the financial burden any choice would entail. Amongst all my worries, I also want to know: when can I really just be free to pursue what I want? And in the end, how much am I sure of what I want and how much am I willing to do or give up to get it?

How do people balance the desire to be open with the need to be discreet? Most of the time I like my name, but increasingly, I hesitate before posting anything because there are certain people who abuse the vastness of the web. It’s easy to say that you should just ignore it all, but harder to do; there are general topics that probably ought not to be discussed publicly (i.e. work, visa issues, and now family, since all my relatives are familiar with Google by this point) or things that I just feel awkward broaching online (particularly: love life). Since I can’t figure out a happy medium yet, I just find myself remaining silently frustrated with all the things I can’t say.