On my twenty-first birthday (the third of October), I had to be suddenly rushed to the ER in the midst of my small karaoke celebration. By the time the Kaiser doctor came to see me (three hours later and worst ER ever, by the way), my symptoms were gone, and they chalked it up to a severe allergic reaction. The next day, after attending classes, I felt myself starting to shake badly again. I had a friend help me get from the university market cafe to the health center, and proceeded to get worse for the next eight hours or so, as the shaking spread from my hands to my whole upper body and got more intense in severity as well as speed. I was referred to a different ER, where they did a CAT scan, only to find nothing abnormal in the picture. My shaking eventually stopped on its own, and I was referred to see a neurologist the next day. However, the MRI scan done at his office also revealed nothing, and I was sent home with medication that the neurologist claimed to be muscle relaxants, but actually turned out to be an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety drug. I can only surmise that he didn’t think I would be clever enough to utilize the powers of Google/Wikipedia. I also was prescribed Valium to help combat the tremors. On Saturday morning, I woke up shaking all over, and was alarmed to find it spreading to my legs. Forty minutes after consuming Valium, I stopped being able to breathe, started spasming instead of just shaking, and had to be transported to yet another ER. During the trip, there was a brief period in which I thought I might not have the strength to try and fight for another breath of air, and it scared me. I saw in that moment that I had a choice though, and so, despite my body screaming at me to give up, I held on until we got to the hospital.
Blood tests and an EKG were immediately done, only to also turn out “normal”. Once I was able to breathe again, an urine test was conducted, though no information could be gleaned from that either. The neurologist was contacted, and despite my insistence that the third ER visit had been a bad reaction to Valium, he only added another drug (Clonazepam) to my prescriptions. I did not want to try it again, but all the doctors and nurses were telling me that he probably knew best. So the next night, when I began spasming badly and took the Valium, I once again stopped being able to breathe. Lucky for the neurologist, the new medication somehow cleared up my airways again and restored me to just spasms. But I was angry because it had been such a gamble with my life. A second trip to the neurologist only resulted in him prescribing me more of the anti-depressant (which I had stopped taking, on account of my disbelief of the medication being any use to me at all) and Clonazepam — four times more of the former and twice as much of the latter, to be started immediately (rather than a gradual increase). At that point, I had already begun trying to switch neurologists. However, other neurologists in the area were busy, and the quickest way for me to get an EEG (the next step) was through him, so I had to stay with the guy for the meantime. Unfortunately, the EEG revealed nothing abnormal either, so as of right now, we still have no answers.
Oddly enough, two days ago, I woke up and found that my spasms were gone (without the help of any medication). Today I had a very, very minor relapse, but I will likely be returning to school still next week, with a load of work to make up. The frightening thing is how sudden the onset and disappearance of the attacks are, and how no one can find an explanation. The insinuation I’ve been getting of course is that this is a psychological illness, which may be true, but if anything, it would be anxiety and stress rather than depression, I feel.
There is much more to say, and details I’ve left out, including how close friends have been absolutely awesome and vital in my time of need, but I felt I needed to first just get the story out first..
