The Story
On my twenty-first birthday (the third of October), I had to be suddenly rushed to the ER in the midst of my small karaoke celebration. By the time the Kaiser doctor came to see me (three hours later and worst ER ever, by the way), my symptoms were gone, and they chalked it up to a severe allergic reaction. The next day, after attending classes, I felt myself starting to shake badly again. I had a friend help me get from the university market cafe to the health center, and proceeded to get worse for the next eight hours or so, as the shaking spread from my hands to my whole upper body and got more intense in severity as well as speed. I was referred to a different ER, where they did a CAT scan, only to find nothing abnormal in the picture. My shaking eventually stopped on its own, and I was referred to see a neurologist the next day. However, the MRI scan done at his office also revealed nothing, and I was sent home with medication that the neurologist claimed to be muscle relaxants, but actually turned out to be an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety drug. I can only surmise that he didn’t think I would be clever enough to utilize the powers of Google/Wikipedia. I also was prescribed Valium to help combat the tremors. On Saturday morning, I woke up shaking all over, and was alarmed to find it spreading to my legs. Forty minutes after consuming Valium, I stopped being able to breathe, started spasming instead of just shaking, and had to be transported to yet another ER. During the trip, there was a brief period in which I thought I might not have the strength to try and fight for another breath of air, and it scared me. I saw in that moment that I had a choice though, and so, despite my body screaming at me to give up, I held on until we got to the hospital.
Blood tests and an EKG were immediately done, only to also turn out “normal”. Once I was able to breathe again, an urine test was conducted, though no information could be gleaned from that either. The neurologist was contacted, and despite my insistence that the third ER visit had been a bad reaction to Valium, he only added another drug (Clonazepam) to my prescriptions. I did not want to try it again, but all the doctors and nurses were telling me that he probably knew best. So the next night, when I began spasming badly and took the Valium, I once again stopped being able to breathe. Lucky for the neurologist, the new medication somehow cleared up my airways again and restored me to just spasms. But I was angry because it had been such a gamble with my life. A second trip to the neurologist only resulted in him prescribing me more of the anti-depressant (which I had stopped taking, on account of my disbelief of the medication being any use to me at all) and Clonazepam — four times more of the former and twice as much of the latter, to be started immediately (rather than a gradual increase). At that point, I had already begun trying to switch neurologists. However, other neurologists in the area were busy, and the quickest way for me to get an EEG (the next step) was through him, so I had to stay with the guy for the meantime. Unfortunately, the EEG revealed nothing abnormal either, so as of right now, we still have no answers.
Oddly enough, two days ago, I woke up and found that my spasms were gone (without the help of any medication). Today I had a very, very minor relapse, but I will likely be returning to school still next week, with a load of work to make up. The frightening thing is how sudden the onset and disappearance of the attacks are, and how no one can find an explanation. The insinuation I’ve been getting of course is that this is a psychological illness, which may be true, but if anything, it would be anxiety and stress rather than depression, I feel.
There is much more to say, and details I’ve left out, including how close friends have been absolutely awesome and vital in my time of need, but I felt I needed to first just get the story out first..
Tagged: health, myoclonus
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15 responses to “The Story”
13
2007
10:17pm
Holy fuck! I’m glad to hear you’re doing better, what a scare! Thanks for the check-in. I haven’t seen you in a while so if you hadn’t Pownced this, I wouldn’t have known.
13
2007
11:55pm
Oh good. I’ve been busy worrying about you.
I’m about a year away from having enough of a rant about psychochemicals and the medical profession that I’ll be able to pace back and forth like a hyperactive little bunny with rabies.
But… gah. Doctors love to give you antidepressants and stuff because they take the chemical model too seriously…. just like educators like to give kiddies Ritalin.
14
2007
12:17am
Yikes! I’ve seen your occasional Twitters about it, but didn’t know what to make of it. Thanks for the explanation, and holy crap about the inanity of doctors. I would definitely look into getting a second opinion.
Definitely let us know if there’s anything we can do!
14
2007
8:50am
Shit!! That’s insane, I’m so sorry. I really hope they figure it out. The unknown is the scariest medical prognosis.
14
2007
9:12am
Oh my god, Elea, that is insane. I’m so sorry you had such a shit time with the medication - you’d think the doctors would listen to you when you say, “No, every time I take this my airways close up.” Seems to me that’s a crucial component of, I don’t know, continuing to be alive?
I could see them prescribing an anti-anxiety med if they thought you were having panic attacks, but TELLING you it was an anti-anxiety instead of lying to you that it was a muscle relaxant. How positively frustrating.
Here’s hoping they work it out. It’s got to be so scary not knowing what the matter is.
14
2007
9:21am
Glad it seems to be subsiding. Crossing my fingers and hoping it’s nothing and never comes back.
That neurologist sounds like a big poopyhead.
14
2007
5:17pm
Oh man, that sounds pretty scary. Glad you’re feeling better now and hope it doesn’t happen again.
15
2007
1:18pm
Hoo boy, it just doesn’t get much easier, does it? :/ I’ll keep that in mind if I ever get sick whilst in California. I hope you’re getting plenty of r&r if that’s possible while catching up with your work.
15
2007
5:20pm
Oh, my God, girl. Very scary stuff — I am glad you are feeling better now and I, too, hope it doesn’t happen again. It also sounds like there’s at least one doctor that deserves a lawsuit, sigh. Please try to relax and keep us updated!
15
2007
6:54pm
That sounds like a scary ride and I hope that either the mystery is solved or goes away on its own. -danny
16
2007
8:08am
Oh my good giddy goose what a nasty birthday present! I hope you don’t mind a stranger commenting… I was reading your poetry and wanted to tell you how much I liked it (I do very much) and came across your blog. I hope you get some answers soon, sometimes I think doctors just give you pills to make it seem like they have the answers. Best of luck.
16
2007
11:42pm
OMG, take it easy and feel better soon! *hugs*
17
2007
12:23pm
Elea!! I’m so sorry you’re going through this - let me know if I can do anything to help.
18
2007
3:45pm
Oh my gosh. I’m so glad you’re alright. I’m also glad it seems to be going away, but be sure to relax a lot and take it easy until you’re sure. I’d hate for this to come back again full force.
Your neurologist sucks, though.
1
2007
11:08pm
Elea I’m so sorry you have had to go through all that. I have been reading your twitter posts and I am glad you are ok but I know it’s hard. Keep letting us know how you are and know that a whole bunch of people care about you and want you to get well. Have you talked to natural healers at all? Acupuncture, etc. Kmeelyon knows a lot about that stuff too…
peace
charles