How do people balance the desire to be open with the need to be discreet? Most of the time I like my name, but increasingly, I hesitate before posting anything because there are certain people who abuse the vastness of the web. It’s easy to say that you should just ignore it all, but harder to do; there are general topics that probably ought not to be discussed publicly (i.e. work, visa issues, and now family, since all my relatives are familiar with Google by this point) or things that I just feel awkward broaching online (particularly: love life). Since I can’t figure out a happy medium yet, I just find myself remaining silently frustrated with all the things I can’t say.
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I have exactly the same problem. I’ve NEVER used my real name or location on the web (which is just as well, following my own brush with a stalker) but some RL people, including friends and family, know about my blog, which has completely turned me off blogging at the mo. :/
V xx
Over the years I learned to save certain stories for certain audiences. content not suitable for posting online can be a premium feature to share with friends and family, thus enhancing those relationships.
Sincerely,
-daniel
I’ve always been a ‘slow adopter’ to social networking for this very reason. Last among my friends to post photos of myself, and slowest to open up with location details in blog entries, I’ve only recently started opening up a little. I also take comfort in not disclosing my last name pretty much anywhere. Even in my email name, I’m only listed as below “Ken S.” if you’ve ever noticed. Even at work when customers ask my last name I lie and tell them its Smith, though I am considering switching to Suzuki since it more closely resembles my real last name and I have a fondness for Ichiro. I also don’t have the problem of being a young attractive girl.
Let me just say it was a wake up call for me when my friend showed me their brand new email account inbox after they posted a dating ad on craigslist and it was SHOCKING how many guys responded (like 300+ in only a week or so) and how many of them included a picture of a penis!!
In the end, not really sure how to advise you here as I don’t know what preferences and purposes you have for your various accounts on the net. But I can say don’t give up. Blocking IP’s may not stop the determined, but may act as a deterrent. People don’t like doing more work for the same content and may reduce traffic from undesirable people.
I live my life like an open book so I find it hard to relate. I don’t talk about anything online I wouldn’t be comfortable people in my offline world to know about.
You could just assume that nobody cares enough about you to actually look for you that hard… that isn’t directed at you, by the way, it’s just the thought that I pick to comfort myself when I worry about the fact that googling my email totally leads right to everything I’ve ever tried to keep private…. I shudder at the thought, but then think about how quickly people forget about my birthday so would they really care enough to scour the web and then to scour what they find for the little bits of horrifying details I’ve let slip?
And then I delete my site and start over because I am paranoid and the less archives the better. You’re totally right, it’s horrifying.